I'm so glad i made it through this week. The week seemed to drag on with so much to do. I think I only got an average of about 4 to 5 hours of sleep per night all week. I'm exhausted!
Everything had been okay until I ran into him today at the grocery store. It hit me like a ton of bricks. My heart raced, my face turned red, and I didnt even know what to say/talk about. I felt like he was a stranger. He looked different, perhaps happier? And I hope that I look happier as well--I just dont feel it. Down the isle later I ran into another friend that asked if I was okay, so I take it I didn't look all that great.
After such a long and stressful week, a good movie and some cuddling would be really great, but that's not happening. I really miss him when I see him--It really hurts. And the sad part is, I'm pretty sure he's okay and he has so many friends to hang out with 24-7 that I'm pretty sure he has plenty of distractions.
I was going to go home tonight to spend time with my family after that grocery store incident and the way it messed with my emotions, but in my panicked state seeing him, I told him I would stop by a party tonight and I want to show that I can do it and be okay. Not that it really makes a difference in the end, but I want to prove it to myself as well even though I know it's going to be a painful experience.
On day's like this, I just really wish all my happiness would come back and everything would be okay. On day's like this, I'm just ready to go to bed and start my day over again tomorrow.
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